Are You Worried About Making A Difference?

No one gets picked for a team and then wants to sit on a bench. Nobody devotes years of service to a company with the idea that what she has done is insignificant. Nobody wants to think that at her funeral, the eulogy will declare that her life didn’t matter.

We want to make a difference, and not just for ourselves. Nobody hopes that at their window to guatmala ipicmemorial someone will stand up and say, “She worked hard to be successful. She did a good job acquiring power and money. She was anxious and driven and self-preoccupied and polite and respectable, and she impressed a lot of people.”

NO! We want to leave the world a little changed. When it’s time to go, we would like for someone to say, “My life is a little richer; my world is a little bigger; I’m a better person because this human being walked the planet awhile. She made a difference. She changed my life. She was the best mom.”

We don’t want to be benchwarmers. We don’t want a life on the sidelines. I don’t mind losing and I don’t have to be the star, but I want to be in the game. How about you? Are you in YOUR game? This desire we have is a wonderful thing. Our hunger for significance is an indicator of who we are and why we were created. Deeper than our need for food or air or water is our need for meaning, our need to know our lives count for something. We are built for meaning. Continue reading

It’s Almost Christmas!! What?!

 I love summer, smell the fresh cut grass, feel the warm sunshine and an ocean breeze on your face, see all the children running carefree, yes summer is a magical time. July also heralds in the middle of the year-yes that’s 6 more months until Christmas-where does the time go? We are at the half way mark.

How are you doing with the promises you made yourself at the beginning of the year?

Are you:beach amelia

  1. Right on schedule
  2. Lagging behind or
  3. Don’t even want to talk about it

 If you find yourself stuck on b or c don’t fret and don’t beat yourself up. You still have plenty of time to get back on track and come December 31st you will be patting yourself on the back and feeling very accomplished.

 So let’s finish the year strong here’s how:

 1.Get Your Vision Back In Focus: Every day we face many, many choices as faithful busy women and moms, so get back to basing your choices on what makes you feel happy and free rather than how you think an ideal life should look. Say a prayer and listen to what you are hearing.   Did you make a vision board back in January? Make sure you are looking at it each day  BUT  right about now if you are rolling your eyes at me and thinking that doesn’t work, I understand. The vision board itself does not change your life, but what does change your way of thinking is the process of focusing on the images you choose and how they could impact your future. Most of the times these images will stick with you and start helping you steer your choices in that direction. Before you know it your vision is becoming your reality because of the choices you have made to positively impact you and your family.

2.Let It Go:  Did you just cringe because I reminded you on the song from Frozen? Good, every time you think of that song remember these next words. You must let go of what is no longer working for you! These things can include a volunteer obligation, a family/friend obligation (that’s really not THAT important don’t slack on the important ones that could get you in trouble!) a chore that someone else can do or that you can reasonably outsource, bad habits, old grudges, you get the picture…. we are all holding onto something that we REALLY don’t need to.  Think about your own obligations and see what you may try giving up to finish the year your way, pay attention to the joy it brings you to let it go. Inhale, exhale..Think and let it go!

3.Don’t be afraid to fail: Have you longed to try something new?  Maybe switch careers start a business, learn a new skill or language….people that worry about mistakes paralyze themselves into not DOING! Success is built on failure; think about the story of Vera Wang she was a competitive figure skater in her youth who failed to make the 1968 US Olympic figure skating team. This prompted her to take a job as an assistant at Vogue in 1971, she then was promoted to senior fashion editor, within in a year of working there, but after 15 years of service to the magazine she was passed over for editor-in-chief of the publication. Now women can hardly think of wedding attire without her name coming up and her fashion is legendary.

             “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”  ~Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

4. Pay Attention: We tell our children this all the time, but how well do we really pay attention to what matters to us? Do you tend to think about others priorities when you make your decisions? Try to untangle yourself from that action to know what is important to you. People will constantly tell you that their own “code-red” takes priority. Your life balance is yours this last half of the year if you pay attention, but only if you acknowledge this fact: your life balance is unique to you and belongs to you and no one else!

So get out there and enjoy the rest of your summer. Spend time laughing with friends and family, chase fireflies with your kids, read a good book for fun, catch a few rays, dig your toes in the sand whatever makes you happy indulge and finish the year STRONG!

You can do it, I believe in you!

Here’s to all your Possibilities!

 Free Offer: wildflowers

I’m thrilled to be certified in the Find Your Beautiful Life Plan where you can envision and take action on all your dreams…..I’m giving away a free plan (yes that’s 10 weeks of support to take action on your dreams and live a balanced life) reply to this post to be entered into the giveaway. (don’t miss out on a $1700.00 value enter now just hit reply with your name, number and email)

“Find Your Beautiful” Life Plan we will:

  • Explore the passions that give your life a deeper meaning
  • Uncover your values which are the foundation for future decision making
  • Discern how God was at work in your past to empower your future
  • Help let go of fears that keep you stuck
  • Identify your strengths and recognize the power of self-worth
  • Layout the first steps to creating a life you’re passionate about living

 

Envision Possibilities helps smart moms live their life’s purpose with balance, grace and faith. Founder and CEO Dixie McDaniel de Andrade is a mother of special need twins whose husband travels extensively for work. She lives far from family, exercises daily (well tries to anyway), carpools, cooks, rarely cleans and juggles it all with a smile and a sense of humor! Her belief is you can do it too! With Envision Possibilities her intent is to help you live your dreams with balance NOW rather than slipping into the “when/then” syndrome. Through workshops, speaking and life coaching she teaches from Ecclesiastes 11: 4,6  – If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done…Be sure to stay busy and plant a variety of crops, for you never know which will grow — perhaps they all will.

 

Can I Be On Time Today?

Today’s the day today’s the day I’m finally going to make it on time.  Today’s the day I’m finally leaving the house with 5 minutes to spare… yep today’s the day. Except, sadly…. today was not the day.shoes

Picture this conversation:

Me: “Please, Lucas go get your shoes”…..

Lucas: “I can’t find my shoes”

Me: “Gabriel did you brush your teeth?”

Gabriel: “No” (no follow up just “no” with big puppy dog eyes)

Me: “Lucas look under your bed”

Me: “Gabriel go brush your teeth”

Me: (to myself) “where are my keys, did I feed the dog, what time is it?”

Trying to get out the door….

Lucas: “MOM I want milk”

Me: “Ok, right milk,… sure, where did you put your cup this morning?”

Lucas: “I duuna know” (also with big puppy dog eyes but no follow up)

Me:  (to myself) “Where is my watch….what time is it…..we are going to be late”……and so it goes

And today was not the day! Maybe tomorrow…..

That’s life in the having and doing it all world…. and we have the choice to handle  it with humor and grace or to chuck it all and scream. I have to confess some days I scream but mostly I try to “never let them see me sweat” and make it out the door albeit 5 or 10 minutes late. What about you where do you find your balance in doing it all?

 

Giveaway: I’ve been working with some pretty amazing moms in a program called Light Your Fire and Faith and this is what’s happening for them; they are feeling a little less stuck on the gerbil wheel of life, they are doing things they enjoy, finding more time in a day, asking their bosses for things they have never been brave enough to ask for before, starting new jobs and companies and basically living the life they always dreamed of….I was wondering if you are feeling stressed or stuck right now? And if you might be looking for some guidance on how to do something a little bigger or enjoy your family more? If that sounds like something you’ve been looking for, then I’m giving away a free hour long coaching session with me to someone who comments in the blog post below about your balance. We will randomly draw a name from the comments to see who is our recipient to be well on your way to Light Your Fire and Faith!

 
Envision Possibilities helps smart moms live their life’s purpose with balance, grace and faith. Founder and CEO Dixie McDaniel de Andrade is a mother of special need twins whose husband travels extensively for work. She lives far from family, exercises daily (well tries to anyway), carpools, cooks, rarely cleans and juggles it all with a smile and a sense of humor! Her belief is you can do it too! With Envision Possibilities her intent is to help you live your dreams with balance NOW rather than slipping into the “when/then” syndrome. Through workshops, speaking and life coaching she teaches from Ecclesiastes 11: 4,6  — If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done…Be sure to stay busy and plant a variety of crops, for you never know which will grow — perhaps they all will.

 

 

Self-Quiz: Are You “Too Busy”?

beach ameliaTime is the great equalizer. Everybody gets the same amount: 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour. We can’t save time or accumulate or rearrange it. We can’t turn it off or on. It can’t be replaced.

 But these days, it seems as if the lament of not having enough time has become a national anthem. Everywhere people find themselves constantly in a rush, over-booked and over-scheduled with no time off. Life is accompanied by the ongoing stress of not enough time. And sometimes doing too much and being too busy can be a way of forgetting yourself.

 

 Though it may not always seem so, how we fill our time and how we spend it is our choice. Answer the following questions to discover if you’re caught up in the “too-busy” cycle. 

 

  1. I constantly find myself doing “urgent” things and trying to catch up.
  2. I allow myself to drift into obligations when I don’t know how much time or energy they’ll require.
  3. I find myself running from when I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night. I’m always tired and never feel like I accomplished enough.
  4. I seldom schedule a day off for myself and when I do, I tend to fill it with activities.
  5. I don’t make time for “self-care” activities: physical exercise, nurturing or “pampering” myself, cultural stimulation, spiritual well-being, learning something new, playing, or simply doing nothing.
  6. I seldom have time to do the things I really love.
  7. My work and project areas are cluttered with “I’ll look at this later” stacks and “to-do” piles.
  8. I often miscalculate how long certain activities will take.
  9. I often miss deadlines or work long hours to meet a deadline.
  10. I respond to interruptions such as phone calls, faxes, email, beepers and pagers, and allow them to take me off track.
  11. I try to keep things in my head rather than making lists. If I do make a daily “to-do” list, it’s impossible to complete in a day.
  12. I tend to move from one urgent thing to the next, rather than working toward specific goals and objectives.
  13. I find myself constantly wishing I had more time or projecting an imaginary future when I have more time, making comments such as “as soon as…” or “next year…”
  14. I spend time running errands and rushing because I didn’t plan well enough.
  15. I spend time doing things I could pay someone else to do.
  16. I often do things because I “should,” or continue to do things that no longer fit who I am.
  17. Other people complain that my schedule doesn’t allow enough time for them.

 

I hope you will write out your answers and really take a look at where you want to make some changes and where you are happy. I think this will help you take back your time and live the life of your dreams and as always I am always here to help. Here’s to all your possibilities!

 

Southern sweetheart Entrepreneur Dixie McDaniel de Andrade is a speaker who delivers a powerful punch providing inspiration and how-to solutions to women of faith. As an author, certified coach and life/balance expert, she founded international coaching company Envision Possibilities to teach other women to stop settling, balance their unique lives, take action on their dreams all while honoring their own family values!  Dixie is a world-class trainer; having begun her career in international development with the World Bank and spending over a decade working in training and development with multi-national non-profits and governments, speaking and training international audiences from over 100 countries. She speaks Spanish with a southern twang, holds a MA in International Communication, is mom to twin boys age 5, wife to her fun Ecuadorian husband, Co-President of Femfessionals Miami and  loves to volunteer with non-profits she holds dear. Find her on Facebook at Envision Possibilities and Twitter @CoachDixie

 

 

 

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

“After All Tomorrow Is Another Day”

I find myself not motivated today….I dropped my kids off at school in my pj’s pr1etty funny considering I walk them to school (well they ARE really cute sweats if I do say so myself) in fact I’m still in them. I’m doing that thing I coach everyone not to do….talking down to myself for not being motivated!

It’s the beginning of the week and I prefer to just prop my feet on the fisher price table in the middle of my cluttered living room and eat ice cream out of the carton; no work, no returning emails, no writing, no phone calls,  no cleaning, no laundry etc. Yep, it’s that kind of day. I can’t really pinpoint why I got up on the wrong side of the bed, I just know I did and though I’ve said my prayers about it, I’ve got a feeling it’s not going to change, not today anyway and here is why because some days we all need a day…. A day to just be blah no matter what is going right or wrong for you it’s ok to just have one of those days.

Why am I writing this and putting it right out there for all to read because it’s ok to admit I don’t have it all together ALL the time even though I brand myself as the speaker and coach who helps you reach your life balance…. because it’s authentic  to admit I’m having a blah day and it’s ok for you to admit it too when you are having a bad one!  We don’t always have to be “on”. It’s ok to give yourself grace to have a blah day even when you have so many blessings! Just be real and be you that’s why I’m writing these words. Find a friend or someone who cares about you and vent away (even if you don’t really know what you are venting about) and have a better day tomorrow!

Because in the words of Scarlett O’Hara “Tomorrow is another day”

So here’s to all your possibilities (sometimes for another day!)

 

Southern sweetheart Entrepreneur Dixie McDaniel de Andrade is a speaker who delivers a powerful punch providing inspiration and how-to solutions to women of faith. As an author, certified coach and life/balance expert, she founded international coaching company Envision Possibilities to teach other women to stop settling, balance their unique lives, take action on their dreams all while honoring their own family values!  Dixie is a world-class trainer; having begun her career in international development with the World Bank and spending over a decade working in training and development with multi-national non-profits and governments, speaking and training international audiences from over 100 countries. She speaks Spanish with a southern twang, holds a MA in International Communication, is mom to twin boys age 5, wife to her fun Ecuadorian husband, Co-President of Femfessionals Miami and  loves to volunteer with non-profits she holds dear. Find her on Facebook at Envision Possibilities and Twitter @CoachDixie

I Am That Mom

I remember when I was the world’s best mom. My babies slept through the night. When they cried it was so soft and did not disturb anyone. As they turned into toddlers there were barely any terrible twos or threes… no real tantrums. They loved to eat all the great vegetables I made and never asked for candy. My house always looked pristine and the laundry never piled up, the beds were always made, and surprise guests were always welcome. I had balance down pat between work and family. There was no problem with potty training and bed time sign me up; I was like the child whisperer!  When we went out to eat our kids never played with electronics they colored or talked to us.  I was so crafty I could make anything out of popsicles sticks. Everybody wanted me for a mom.

Then…… I actually had children AND

I am that mom, who was blessed with loud, wonderful twin boys….that cried a lot and loudly

I am that mom who one time accidently in the middle of the night put the baby swings on level five to get the babies back to sleep and then fell asleep and left them swinging but blessedly sleeping all night

I am that mom who spent many nights sleeping outside the bedroom door on the floor just to be able to call out “it’s ok, mommy is right here”

I am that mom who was not invited back to a play date after my kids threw a tantrum to beat all tantrums….that’s ok we have other friends : )

I am that mom so traumatized by potty training we can’t talk about it

I am that mom who has lost it (yep totally and utterly had an out of body experience) MANY times over

I am that mom who tries not to break down in the grocery store and buy what my children are begging for but who sometimes does

I am that mom who stares at Pinterest  longingly but doesn’t have a crafty bone in her body (sorry mom and Grandma Hazel)

I am that mom who runs a business and a household and tries for balance and sometimes fails and I’m learning to be ok with that

I am that mom who really, truly wants to be a morning person but I’m just not

I am that mom who makes peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, lunch and dinner because eating something is better than nothing

I am that mom who hears the experts say just don’t give them anything then they will eat and I say “yep I hear you, but turns out sometimes they will just starve themselves”

I am that mom who leaps over piles of laundry (good exercise) and who only opens the door a fraction for surprise guests

I am that mom who wears a baseball cap because who really has time to wash hair ALL the time!

I am that mom who takes on volunteer leadership positions and then makes hard unpopular decisions because they are the right thing to do

I am that mom who has children with special needs and I’m ok with that

I am that mom who prays daily but is a sinner

I am that mom who writes a blog and runs a business about faith, family, dreams and becoming a mompreneur and sometimes my faith is as small as a mustard seed

I am that mom who loves her children more than anything in the world but sometimes wants to change her name from “MOM”

I am that mom who wanted everyone to like her but has realized that’s just not possible and I’m learning to be ok with that

I am that mom who says halleluiah for electronics because then my husband and I can share a meal out with our children (yep totally ok with that, judge me if you will I’ve learned not to)

I am a mom who has given and gotten “the look” from other moms who are judging…oh how I have prayed for that single offense many times over

I am that mom who even though totally exhausted at night will read a book to my boys because you never get that time back

I am that mom who is trying to blend a Christian household with a non-Christian world, and though it’s hard I will succeed

I am a that mom who is doing the best I can and my best is not perfect and that’s ok with me

Who are you?

God made you unique with your own goals and dreams and my prayer for you is to be ok with who you are!

Until next time here’s to all your Possibilities!

Southern sweetheart Entrepreneur Dixie McDaniel de Andrade is a speaker who delivers a powerful punch providing inspiration, and how-to solutions to moms of faith. As an author and certified coach, she founded international coaching company Envision Possibilities to teach other moms to stop settling, tailor make their lives, take action on their dreams all while honoring their own family values!  Dixie is a world-class trainer; having begun her career in international development with the World Bank and spending over a decade working in training and development with multi-national non-profits and governments, speaking and training international audiences from over 100 countries. Envision Possibilities is in business to help Moms worldwide find balance, make money, start their own endeavors (if that’s their heart’s desire), and to live happily through faith. Connect with her on Facebook at Envision Possibilities or Twitter @CoachDixie and sign up for her newsletter on our home page.

The Debate: Can I Have It All?

Can I have it all? No, today I cannot…..why not you ask?

I got up early, (and if you follow me you know I am not a morning person) spent some time in prayer asked God to bless my sweet boys (including hubby) myself and our day. I packed lunches, got myself ready, got the boys out of bed, hurried them through the process of getting to the bathroom, getting dressed and then breakfast, grabbed a cup of coffee, threw on my rain boots and rain coat as it is pouring today in South Florida, left the boys with their dad to finish up getting ready (man I hope he brushed their teeth!)

 7:20 I rushed off to the school for an early morning meeting because I am the room parent.

8:10 I met the boys at the gate to the school with their dad, kissed their rain soaked noses and rushed them into our uncovered school as it poured! Splashed my way home, even though I got drenched I enjoyed the moment in nature, got to my home office shook out my hair like a wet dog (so pretty) and 8:20 sat down to work on my latest book proposal.

I will continue this work pace until I pick up at 1:50 and then some quality time with the boys, homework help, more work for me at the computer…. at 5:30 the babysitter arrives so I can rush back to the school for parents night and then home for a quick take out supper, bath and bed for my boys,  

8:00pm I have a deadline with a project I am pitching so I will work some more tonight…………….that’s it in a nutshell for me today.

So, no today I will not do laundry, pick up the house (poor babysitter when she sees the mess) I will not cook a home cooked meal, my husband and I will not get to share a glass of wine and enjoy a conversation that is not about children. There will be no ME time or gym time…… I WILL drink a pot of coffee (very unhealthy)…. This blog will be grammatically incorrect and not perfect but posted anyway because Wednesday is my day I promise to my readers…….today my priorities are my children and work………….so no today there is not time to have it all…………..

Tomorrow is girl’s night out and Friday night is date night…. I’ve got some time in there for house cleaning and all my boys help, and I’ve got my plans for a home cooked meal before the girls night out…..tomorrow after school drop off I have a fun zumba class, and some me time this weekend  to read a good book just because, Friday I’ve got a volunteer appointment to fulfill and I cannot wait because it brings me great joy to read to special needs children… so while today, no way can I have it all………..in my wild and crazy roller coaster life  MY life is full and I am a women who has it all because I’ve learned to say no to other’s priorities and yes to mine.

Having it all is not a one size fits all….. this is mine…..are you having it all your way? Are you sure of your priorities and saying yes to your life?

Here’s to all YOUR possibilities!

 

Southern sweetheart Entrepreneur Dixie McDaniel de Andrade is a speaker who delivers a powerful punch providing inspiration, and how-to solutions. As an author and certified coach, she founded international coaching company Envision Possibilities to teach other moms to stop settling, tailor make their lives, take action on their dreams all while honoring their own family values!  Dixie is a world-class trainer; having begun her career in international development with the World Bank and spending over a decade working in training and development with multi-national non-profits and governments, speaking and training international audiences from over 100 countries. Envision Possibilities is in business to help Moms worldwide find balance, make money, start their own endeavors (if they want to), and to live happily. Connect with her on Facebook at Envision Possibilities or Twitter @CoachDixie and sign up for her newsletter on our home page.

Serenity Now…..Supermom!

Time out…. it’s summer, we should all take a time out but as moms we rarely do! This past week I was running like a crazy lady. I was volunteering teaching Vacation Bible School in the mornings and as soon as that half day ended I was off to work (lucky for me that is from my home office) but I was also trying to entertain my children all afternoon as well. Tuesday afternoon after volunteering I ran home made a quick lunch for my boys, had the babysitter arrive then rushed off to horrible Miami traffic to meet a new client, the next day I was up early at a business breakfast training, afterwards made a quick change of clothes in the car from business to casual to continue volunteering with Vacation Bible School after which I was off to swimming lessons for the boys…..so yes I understand time outs for moms during summer is extremely difficult! However, Thursday evening my husband and I coordinated our calendars and he stayed home with our boys and I went to have a pedicure and that’s what I want to coach you on today Serenity Now……Supermom! I made time, it was a short 45 minutes but still some me time and you can to. (single or married it’s all about your choices)

Here are some tips on how to take a time out; these tips are so simple sometimes we just need to be reminded:

Take a long hot shower or if you prefer a bubble bath

Lock yourself in the laundry room with your favorite music while you fold laundry

An hour of exercise time just once a week if that is all you can manage

A 5 minute massage in a chair massage

A long walk while kids are on a play date

Driving to pick up children with no radio blaring (alone with your good thoughts and dreams)

Driving to pick up kids while listening to a book on CD that you picked out

Turning off all electronic devices for a few hours one weekend  (or even better a whole day)

The waiting room at the DMV where you can read a magazine in peace (hey who knew the DMV could actually be fun, this can also be put to use in other waiting rooms)

Take time to have a professional blow dry, your hair will thank you (imagine how much time it will save you over a few days)

Ignoring for once the toys, shoes, laundry, piles of mail, work etc and instead have a nice cup of tea even while the kids are running around you

You get the picture you just have to put your mind to it and take the time! Me time or time out, whatever you call it is a precious and rare gift!  A small dose goes a long way to make your time with your children, your family and your work so much more enjoyable because you are refreshed, reenergized and more peaceful and THEN you are ready to put your supermom cape back on and soar again!

Dixie McDaniel de Andrade teaches and inspires women, especially those with young children, the joy of living their priorities and not their “to-do” list through coaching, workshops and speaking! Like Envision Possibilities on Facebook and connect with CoachDixie on Twitter.